There's no way I could recount all the adventures we have gone through since the last time I posted, but God has really been working in my life and there is just a little I would like to share with you.
When we stood in the little airport in Arkansas we knew we were heading on an adventure. That is certainly what it has been for us, but we are also in missions and we have learned much of what that means.
Many missionaries, especially myself, love to recount of all the wonderful things happening, the miracles, the healings, the number of those saved, or fed, or clothed, we love to share about the lives changed, the grandest and most wonderful stories. Missions is exciting! Right?
Yes it is.
But over the course of this two month outreach I have experienced first hand the challenges, discouragements, and hassles of missions. The truth is that this is hard.
At times I have wondered what in the world I have gotten myself into.
One missionary is like a pebble tossed into a vast and deep ocean. It's an ocean of confusing languages and cultural differences, and millions upon millions of people. Oh there are so many people in this world! We pass faces and stories hour after hour that we will never see or hear again.
Going over seas makes one feel small and insignificant. You realize just how big of a world God has created and the amount of people there are in this world.
I wonder if when I return to the US and am amongst friends and family, people that I can fully communicate with, people I have a history with, and a culture I understand, will I ever want to do this again?
Will I want to jump back into the ocean or will I be happy to live in my own little world and story, enjoying a comfortable life?
Why do we go anyway? Why should someone leave their home and people they know and can communicate with to practically start over as an infant in learning a language and becoming a social misfit in a culture they barely understand?
These are certainly reasonable questions. A lot of Christians ask these.
However since the beginning God has been searching for and calling out people to follow Him, to leave behind their lives and find their lives with Him.
It started all the way back in Gen. 12, God calls Abram from his land to be a blessing to the nations.
There is Moses called from an easy life of taking care of sheep to lead God's chosen people out of slavery. There are the Judges called at desperate times and given strength and power to complete the job, there are the prophets, I think especially of Isaiah, who after seeing God's splendor and majesty and being cleansed answered God's call for someone to GO. There are the disciples who laid aside everything and immediately followed when Jesus called them.
Jesus said go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit and teaching them, not just converting them, the life changing truths of Jesus. He will then be with us always.
Our destiny is not found in us, but is found in God and being where He is, where He is at work, in what makes His heart happy. I can tell you this, it is very obvious that God's heart is in missions.
But what about that great ocean that we get hurled into? Yes the world is big, and we are small. But God is calling us out of the boat to walk on the water to Him, where He is at.
This outreach has been about God calling me out of my comfort zone to join Him.
So I have sat in a hut explaining the simple and straightforward Gospel through a translator to people I have just met.
I've laid in my bed feeling feverish and with a noxious headache, feeling useless while my team is off in a new place stressed and uncertain of what they are to do in their new ministry.
A friend and I stood in front of a bunch of kids that understood almost no English and we were supposed to teach them something we had not prepared through a translator who barely knows English himself.
I have stood praying over a blind lady wondering why God does not heal her and wondering what He is trying to teach me.
I have had to trust God to give me the words to speak in one of my first sermons.
I look to Him to show me what to teach two dozen children day after day when I've had practically no training as a teacher.
I sat on the table in a little hut in a dusty village with a Gospel cube in my hand watching a couple whose wedding we had attended only a few days before give their lives to Jesus. I am reminded that the Gospel is simple. Anyone can tell it. I don't need a collage degree, I don't have to wait till I am old. God's heart is for the people all over the world and He is able to use, mightily, those who step out of their boat and trust Him.
These are just a few little glimpses into what I have experienced here in this country, a country that I will leave part of my heart in.
I am not coming back to America the same. This missions thing is in my blood now.
So wherever He leads me, let the rushing of blood and thundering heart be mine as I step out into places where only He can hold me up.
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